I Stink At Goodbyes

Probably I’m not the only one. But truly, in trying to get my behind out of Dodge these last few weeks, I’ve noticed unusually avoidant behavior about saying goodbye.

All week, in my head, I knew I was going to take off today. But, I only told my buddy that I’ve been staying with all week this morning, and it was after he asked me about staying for the 4th.

When it comes to saying goodbye, I’m a yellow-bellied chicken.

The generosity and kindness showed by my friends these last months is beyond words. The support, the sincerity, the donations! All of it has touched me so deeply. I am incredibly lucky.

To all those who have helped me on this journey in one way or another these last 6 months, I salute you, I thank you, and I will miss you. You are in my heart always.

I interviewed a fellow last weekend who recently took an around-the-world bike trip that lasted 3 years. He said the hardest part of the journey was the first 25 feet out his front door. He wasn’t kidding. Here I am, stalling, writing a blog post instead of getting on the road.

I take a deep breath as my hands shake, as tears begin to form at the corner of my eyes. Despite my fear, my feeling unprepared, my being way behind on editing, my unknown places to sleep beyond tonight & tomorrow, I will go. And, when I do, I will bring all of you with me. You are an invisible crowd of cheerleaders standing behind me. And the ones floating above the crowd are my brother, my grandmothers, and my grandpa. They are with me, too.

Sionara, adios, arrivaderci, goodbye. Goodbye, Oakland!


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