vBlog – New Direction, New Fear – 01Nov11

Nobody said making a film was easy. Nobody said flying by the seat of one's pants was easy. Nobody said anything about easy. Watch for the latest on where The SpokenCoast Project is going, and what the future may hold...even I don't know, which is definitely not easy.

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4 Responses to vBlog – New Direction, New Fear – 01Nov11

  1. Sonja says:

    Marissa,
    you are one of the most courageous people I know! I am sorry you are having a challenging time right now. Thanks for sharing, and being so open to talk about it. We have a saying in Germany that roughly translates to “We can make plans for all we want, but life will set the direction.” And of course we do not want to relinquish control, we all fear the unknown, we do want to stay the course. One thing I am hearing from your video though is that you have started to see something bigger in your project than you expected, and through all this fear shines a glimmer of excitement and awe giving you lots of strength to push your boundaries beyond what you ever dreamed you could do. Go hibernate like a polar bear, and rise to spring bringing your newborn cub out into the sunshine!

    I also want to encourage you to look at the other side of the “crappy office job”. Maybe you can find a city, a place, where you could work in an office that puts you in the path of executive producers, PR people, others who want to be on your team but don’t klnow yet because you have not placed yourself in their path yet. Is there a city with a community that supports projectes along the lines ou are thinking? Portland comes to mind, Seattle, Boulder?

    Keep going, my friend. I am waiving my ice axe and crampons to cheer you on!

    Sonja

    • marissa says:

      Oh, Sonja – thanks so much for your note. It brought tears to my eyes! You were reading my mind, or heart as it were. Yes, no matter our plans, Life has its own way of point the compass arrow where you never expected it.

      Just this week, after a great interview, and also another potential one, I realized there may actually be jobs out there that would really help & benefit me with this project. When I applied, I couldn’t believe my luck! I would be surrounded by creative people, and exposed to editing, media, and all sorts of cool stuff. The other one I applied for just today, also had elements of that. I guess my own expectations, and frankly trauma from the past year at my old job, covered my eyes to what really was out there. Who knows where I’ll end up? The perfect place, even though I have no idea what it is or where.

      Finally at the end of this week, I’m actually _looking forward_ to putting the camera down. Winter is really here, and it’s hard to film outside. I’m tired, just plain tired. This break is _exactly_ what I need, even though last week the 5-year-old me stomped her foot & said, “No! I don’t wanna!” 🙂

      You are also right, that there is something bigger coming out of this project. It may even take a year or more to manifest, but it’s coming. Now that I have experience, footage, and am building film connections, this whole project can really take off! If the job I mentioned comes through, the connections will build even more! AND, I’ll be having fun on top of it all!

      Being committed to taking the time the project needs to _really_ be successful is a new thing for me. It’s breaking the pattern of “mailing it in” and then perpetuating the belief of failure in my own head. There’s no reason to sabotage myself any longer. It’s amazing! What a gift to be able to break out of that pattern that’s been holding me back! This is the whole reason I left! The whole reason I gave this project a try! My level of gratitude to you, my friend & supporter, and to the cosmos is beyond words.

      Thanks for being an awesome cheerleader, Sonja! I’m waving my camera & tripod back at you! *hug*

  2. Emily Heikkinen says:

    Marissa! I have been trying to follow you. I really want to do a climb with you, looking at schedule and will talk to you. You are taking one day at a time…thinking of you.

    • marissa says:

      Emily! So glad you pinged me! Hope you had a super rad Summer in your silver bullet wagon. 🙂 Can’t wait to dress up in crazy costumes with you! Yes, please come climb with me – anytime you are welcome. Let me know when ski season at the Beave is up, and we can go from there. Hugs & kisses to you, darling!

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