If you’d like to view a complete obituary for my mom, please go to the “obituaries” link on http://www.petkusfuneralhomes.com/ and type in “Krupa” in the search field. It didn’t seem right to re-post the obit here, but many people were inspired by my eulogy speech on Sunday, so I thought I’d share it:
When a loved family member and member of a community passes away, their accomplishments are lauded, their achievements praised. Starting with her summer abroad in Switzerland, my mother, Margarita, completed quite a list, including scuba diving in the Caribbean, skiing in Neuchatel, riding a motorcycle across Canada, crossing on the Oregon Trail, horseback riding in Colorado, cooking delicious dinners for a family of five every night, assisting with the studies of three children through to college, cleaning up the occasional pile of dog barf, decorating the Christmas tree with popcorn garland, planting a vegetable garden, turning a job at a travel agency into her own business, receiving a Masters degree at age 50, uprooting her life to retire in Western Colorado, flushing dead fish down the toilet, attending drag queen shows, baking enough Christmas cookies to feed the county and sending them on to her college-hemmed kids, and moving those same college-age children in and out of dorms several times a year. This is but a mere snapshot. A lifetime can only describe another’s life.
Many of you know Margarita for her spunk, her insatiable quest for knowledge, her attraction to the new, the eccentric, the odd, and the fantastic. Many of you know her by her kindness through a helping hand she offered in a time of need. We all know her by her delicious wit, and ability to make us giggle like a 5 year old.
Being Margarita’s daughter gives me a special privilege, a unique vantage point into this complex & talented woman. A vantage point that is sometimes precarious, sometimes with great views, and sometimes enveloped with rain. Nonetheless, it is my bittersweet honor to let you know that my mother’s accomplishments are not the most important aspect of her life. No, they are not what she is to be remembered by. I see now, as the gauze of grief gently envelopes my heart, that the most important remembrance of my mother, Margarita, should come from the character of her children. For despite many hardships, many unexpected events out of Left Field, my mother raised two sons who know how to respect women, know how to cook, know how to sew on a button, know how to laugh, and know how to offer kindness to the world. And as for me, my mother raised me to not care what others’ thought of me, to value intelligence, to never change my personality simply to suit a man, and to do what made my heart sing, in all matters. All three of us kids, no matter how our paths twisted and cornered through our lives, have become adults who offer help, compassion & love to those in need, who walk a path of personal integrity, who forgive others, who enjoy the delight of trying new things, and who appreciate the sacrifices of our family before us to engender us with the opportunities we now posses.
Although I have one sibling who sadly passed before my mother, we three still represent a lifetime of do’s & don’ts, reprimands & encouragements, chastisements & love, all from the unconditional heart of Margarita. Certainly, no person is ever perfect, but if a life can be summed up, let it be in the actions of that life’s children, for what are we as humans if not our legacy to the generations that have yet to be born?
Now, I’d like to share two poems that became some of mom’s favorites in her last weeks.
Thank you all for attending, and for your support these last years as Margarita battled through illness. Our family is forever grateful for your hugs, laughter, and generosity.