Eulogy for Margarita M. Krupa, 7/16/45 – 1/4/12

If you’d like to view a complete obituary for my mom, please go to the “obituaries” link on http://www.petkusfuneralhomes.com/ and type in “Krupa” in the search field. It didn’t seem right to re-post the obit here, but many people were inspired by my eulogy speech on Sunday, so I thought I’d share it:

When a loved family member and member of a community passes away, their accomplishments are lauded, their achievements praised. Starting with her summer abroad in Switzerland, my mother, Margarita, completed quite a list, including scuba diving in the Caribbean, skiing in Neuchatel, riding a motorcycle across Canada, crossing on the Oregon Trail, horseback riding in Colorado, cooking delicious dinners for a family of five every night, assisting with the studies of three children through to college, cleaning up the occasional pile of dog barf, decorating the Christmas tree with popcorn garland, planting a vegetable garden, turning a job at a travel agency into her own business, receiving a Masters degree at age 50, uprooting her life to retire in Western Colorado, flushing dead fish down the toilet, attending drag queen shows, baking enough Christmas cookies to feed the county and sending them on to her college-hemmed kids, and moving those same college-age children in and out of dorms several times a year. This is but a mere snapshot. A lifetime can only describe another’s life.

Many of you know Margarita for her spunk, her insatiable quest for knowledge, her attraction to the new, the eccentric, the odd, and the fantastic. Many of you know her by her kindness through a helping hand she offered in a time of need. We all know her by her delicious wit, and ability to make us giggle like a 5 year old.

Being Margarita’s daughter gives me a special privilege, a unique vantage point into this complex & talented woman. A vantage point that is sometimes precarious, sometimes with great views, and sometimes enveloped with rain. Nonetheless, it is my bittersweet honor to let you know that my mother’s accomplishments are not the most important aspect of her life. No, they are not what she is to be remembered by. I see now, as the gauze of grief gently envelopes my heart, that the most important remembrance of my mother, Margarita, should come from the character of her children. For despite many hardships, many unexpected events out of Left Field, my mother raised two sons who know how to respect women, know how to cook, know how to sew on a button, know how to laugh, and know how to offer kindness to the world. And as for me, my mother raised me to not care what others’ thought of me, to value intelligence, to never change my personality simply to suit a man, and to do what made my heart sing, in all matters. All three of us kids, no matter how our paths twisted and cornered through our lives, have become adults who offer help, compassion & love to those in need, who walk a path of personal integrity, who forgive others, who enjoy the delight of trying new things, and who appreciate the sacrifices of our family before us to engender us with the opportunities we now posses.

Although I have one sibling who sadly passed before my mother, we three still represent a lifetime of do’s & don’ts, reprimands & encouragements, chastisements & love, all from the unconditional heart of Margarita. Certainly, no person is ever perfect, but if a life can be summed up, let it be in the actions of that life’s children, for what are we as humans if not our legacy to the generations that have yet to be born?

Now, I’d like to share two poems that became some of mom’s favorites in her last weeks.

“The Meeting” by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and “Snowflake” by William Baer.

Thank you all for attending, and for your support these last years as Margarita battled through illness. Our family is forever grateful for your hugs, laughter, and generosity.

Posted in Inspiration, People | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

8 Responses to Eulogy for Margarita M. Krupa, 7/16/45 – 1/4/12

  1. Malcolm says:

    Dear Marissa,
    I am only now reading about and learning about the passing of your mom.
    I’m so sorry to hear this. But also not surprised as I knew she was very ill.
    Your eulogy is beautiful…a beautiful testament to your mom and her legacy, her personality, her spirit for adventure, her commitment to family and her kids…and particularly her daughter to whom I assume she also passed on your gift for self expression. You think and write beautifully.
    Thanks Margarita, I didn’t know you, but I know you a little better now.
    Love to you Marissa
    Malcolm

    • marissa says:

      Hi Malcolm,

      So great to hear from! Thanks for posting – hope life is still ok after your Brazilian adventure!

      You are also a gifted writer, my friend. Your sweet, kind words brought me to tears. Thanks for sharing your sentiment.

      You’re correct, my mom was an incredibly articulate person. I can only hope to carry the torch she started. When cleaning out her storage locker in Evergreen, CO the other week, I came across a folder with a thick article in it on how to become a travel writer. Now it’s up to me.

      So many things to do and only one lifetime to live! Right now I’m desperately trying to get back to the footage I shot in Alaska. It’s been hard to refocus, my thoughts & ideas keep me scattered. But, getting these stories out would be what she wanted, too.

      Hugs to you & your family, dear one!
      Marissa

  2. Liesl says:

    Hi Marisa,
    What a beautiful posting about your mom. She sounds like an amazing woman – and so are you. Lots of love,
    Liesl

  3. Lucia Castillo says:

    Dear Marissa,
    Just catching up with my emails and learned of your mom’s passing. My deepest condolences. The obituary you wrote was a very heart-felt and moving tribute to your mother. You have done her proud! She must have been a very interesting and special person.

    You have been through so much and I’m sure you have grown a lot in the process. Continue to grow, thrive and bring positive energy to the world!
    Love and hugs,
    Lucia

    • marissa says:

      Hi Lucia!

      So great to hear from you – Thank You for taking time to post!

      Your words are much appreciated. She was an incredible woman. Now that she’s gone, I can remember her for the positive, fun, and amazing things she did and said, and not the crabby parts at the end. It sure has been a journey as you.

      I want to tell you the pattern you mentioned in my gut has really surfaced recently, prompting me to do this cleanse. It feels like setting the “reset” button. Thanks for all you wisdom, kindness, and “magic touch” over the years.

      In love & light,
      Marissa

  4. Alec Oyung says:

    Dear Marissa,

    Finally catching up with you, so sorry to hear about your mom’s passing. Thanks for your writings and all you’re doing on your journey. Your mother left a gem on this earth in you, and I’m sure she’s so proud. Wishing you the best in your healing.

    Alec

    • marissa says:

      Aww, thanks Alec. Really appreciate your sweet, supportive words. Hope everything’s going well on your side, too. Miss your mellow yoga energy & your awesome place in Fairfax!

      Hugs,
      Marissa

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