Denali Denied

Marissa FemFest, Ouray, CO

I’ve been putting off writing this post since I moved to Colorado on February 11th. But, it must be done.

Several days before I left Chicago, I got a phone call from my friend who was organizing our Denali team. She said the team never gelled, and her new business ran into some major headaches. Long & short of it: the trip was cancelled.

It threw me for a major bummer. It was so huge to have a focus again. Having a goal in mind, one that would re-ignite this project, brought motivation & drive to succeed. Hearing her on the phone just took the wind right out of my sails.

What could I do? All my yoga classes were handed off to someone else, notice given at my apartment, goodbyes were said, parties were thrown, hugs were given. I had to keep moving forward, Out West.

It’s been a true exercise in faith & trust, to completely let go & allow the universe to unfold my path for me. It’s humbling as all get-out & tremendously scary. Giving up the notion that I’m in charge of my Life or of Fate, is a pretty significant ego-buster.

Since the fall-out, my thoughts go back to the same questions I asked in Chicago, “What am I doing here?”. I truly have no idea what my purpose is in Montrose, CO. I’m getting slivers of a clue, but nothing concrete, clean & simple like climbing a 20,000 ft. peak. I can only hope that more will be revealed.

Meanwhile, after recovering from a terrible rib injury due to falling on ice in Chicago, I’m finally getting back into shape. Five weeks in, and I’m getting a feel for the altitude, although still not fully used to it. I tried ice climbing last week & loved it! I’m also reaching out to the rock climbing community here.

I have books from the library on 14,000 ft. peaks I’d like to practice on this summer. My hope is that come fall, I’ll have a group of friends to practice self-arrest and pulling sleds with. I also hope, this same group of friends will become the Denali 2014 team.

Besides these things, I’m investigating yoga opportunities, reiki opportunities, and some other things. Many of you know, but some don’t, I’m building a team of consultants for NYR Organic products. Newly added to that is The Biomat.

The biggest thing I feel, though, is returning to this project. Having Denali as the carrot, my juices began flowing again. Just today I felt like filming a blog update, instead of writing one. Haven’t felt like that since before I left Alaska in 2011…

Slow, baby steps are being made. The big realization is I need help cataloging & editing the current material. If you know of any film students, or teachers of film programs at colleges & universities near you, I’d be _most obliged_ for an introduction. I’d love to give film students a chance to build a portfolio piece by collaborating with me to edit a SpokenCoast Project interview. A win-win for all! Thanks in advance.

Other than that, I’m breathing. Finally able to do daily yoga practice, I do daily reiki practice & mantra meditation. When I don’t know what to do, I breathe. When I feel overwhelmed, I breathe. When I feel confused, I breathe. Taking pause when these emotions arise helps me to get clarity, stay in gratitude, and keep making steps forward. Don’t know what the results will be, but putting forth the effort will result in something…that I do know.

Thanks for reading, and for your support. Transitioning to this rural Colorado town with no set purpose has shaken me to my core. I’m grateful to be through the worst of it! Namaste…

Posted in Peaks | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

2 Responses to Denali Denied

  1. Meghan Ward says:

    Sounds like you have the perfect opportunity to practice your yoga amidst all these unknowns. Denali may have been the carrot that opened you up to greater possibilities but it is far from over! I can’t wait to hear how the adventure unfolds. 🙂

    • marissa says:

      Thanks for your encouraging words, Meghan! That was really something I needed to hear. Trying my best to stay focussed & get back into shape, but with _balance_ this time. No injuries allowed!

      Slowly meeting outdoorsy folks in the area, and grateful. Hope to meet more. There are plenty of 14-ers around here for practice. I guess I need to stay open to how this path unfolds, just like everything else. I have my intention/desire for completion, but it may not come in the way I planned. So hard to let go! But, I keep my heart open that if it’s meant to be, these climbs will happen.

      Cheers to you & your family!!
      Marissa

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